It’s been a while. Between waiting for my new laptop, public access training with Azula, The Wisdom of Trauma courses, the International Trauma Research and Recovery Network, writing project proposals, trying to get information from organizations and having houseguests, writing took a backseat. Especially the public access training took its toll. For someone who suffers from hypervigilance and body armoring, being out and about is incredibly tiring. But this training is necessary in order for me to be able to (hopefully) one day be able to get treatment abroad. Body armoring flare up – a sudden trigger After the past…
Tag: personal journey
Sometimes you’ve got to force the issue
Week in Review 8 – Sometimes you’ve got to force the issue. I really don’t like it, but sometimes you’ve got to stand up for yourself. And force people to take notice. It goes against my nature, but if it needs to be done, it needs to be done. Jeffry Stijn Foundation We finally got our draft articles of incorporation. It’s riddled with errors, but at least we’re in the final stages of the legal basis of the foundation. I got my draft articles of incorporation for Just A regular Julie before the Foundation’s. Even though I started that process…
The Body Keeps The Score 2 – Lessons from Vietnam Vets
Chapter 1 – Lessons from Vietnam Vets The Body Keeps the Score 2. Yesterday I started reading The Body Keeps the Score and keeping a journal of what touches and triggers me as I read. I’ve just finished reading Chapter 1. I’m tense, shaking, anxious. My brain feels like mud. And grief is battering at my dam of numbness. It’s a terrible and odd sensation. My instinct is to turn away from it. To keep the grief at bay no matter the cost. For an endless few moments tears stream down my face, and then my brain does what it…
The Body Keeps the Score & Healing Trauma: A First Step
Over the past 4 and a half years I have been slowly but surely learning about complex trauma and complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. During that journey, one of the names that consistently kept popping up in articles, dissertations and studies was Bessel van der Kolk, MD. One of the first things that caught my eye was that ‘van der Kolk’ is a very Dutch name. I put his book “The Body Keeps The Score” on my list of books to purchase once I was well enough to start reading again. And stuck to various articles and studies van der Kolk…
Some things take a little more time
Week in Review 6 & 7 – Some things take a little more time I started writing last week’s week in review and then things just kept on happening that needed a little more time and required a little more attention. That’s life; it happens. So this week’s week in review is a double feature. Jeffry Stijn Foundation Purpose Foundation One of the things that took a little time was to formulate the purpose of the Foundation. After a brainstorm session with the Foundation’s council of sages, it was formulated as follows: The purpose of the Jeffry Sijn Foundation for…
It’s Chronic and Complex
The Week in Review Week 5 This past week has been all about things being chronic and complex. Both when it comes to the Jeffry Stijn Foundation for Mental Health and Patient Advocacy and when it comes to living with metal illness in a small society with limited resources. As well as for me personally, both as a professional and as a mental health patient. Jeffry Stijn Foundation When it comes to the work of the foundation it’s all been about adding information about trauma and all its forms. Basic information about acute trauma, chronic trauma, complex trauma and covert…
Complaint Respaldo
When I first started at Respaldo, Aruba’s National Mental Health Foundation, I was immediately informed that there probably wouldn’t be fitting treatment for me here on the island. That I’d have to move abroad. Or try to get sent abroad for medical treatment. I was informed that the chances of that happening would be pretty much non-existent. As residential mobility is my root, unresolved and as yet still untreated trauma, I decided to go for the latter option. Why add to an already existing trauma and make myself worse, when there is another option? One that would allow me to…
Service Animals: The quest to get my doggos certified
Ever since I got the okay to be sent abroad for treatment, I have been trying to find out how to get my dogs, Azula and Monroe, certified as service dogs, or at least emotional support animals. Initially I was told by Respaldo that they knew of one person who had managed it. This was in October 2022. A few days ago I finally manged to get in touch with the person in question. Unfortunately it tuns out that he started his dog’s training here in Aruba, but finished it in the US. Where he got the certification for service…
It’s called self-actualization, Einstein
You know that last missing puzzle piece? The one that just doesn’t fit, or has mysteriously been missing? Turns out mine has been something called self-actualization. I’ve been asking for help with this for as long as I can remember. I just didn’t have the word for it. And now that I’ve found it… well. *click, click* one domino falls into the next. *click, click, click* and the next, and the next. *click, click, click, click-ity, click* [insert a ton of creative swearwords here]. *click, click, click,….!!!!!* Well, genius, shows how much you know! “The only true wisdom is in…
Setting boundaries and conditions
I had been running into a similar pattern over and over at a certain point. When I tried to make agreements with my employer or people in my environment something went wrong. A very wise and management guru, offered to help me figure it out. And see what I could do to change or break that pattern. So he listened to my stories. After a while he got up. “Keep talking,” he said. So I did. In the meantime he drew four squares on a board. “When someone asks you to do something, or agree to something, how do you…
