When we talk about trauma we mean distressing, stressful or frightening events. Trauma in relation to mental health is about how these events affect our mental well-being. How we react emotionally or psychologically.
Stressful or distressing events are simply a part of life. Sometimes they may even be good. They can teach us about resilience, or the importance of friends and family. They may inspire us to change things in our lives for the better, or lead us to people who have experienced similar situations.
They teach us about ourselves, the world and people around us.
Stressful events
Most everyone has been through stressful events in their lives. If you search the internet, there are lists and lists. For now lets just name a few:
- Death of a spouse family member or loved one
- Moving
- Not being able to provide for yourself or loved ones
- Major illness or injury to yourself, a loved one or a dependent
- Marriage and its facets. Divorce, separation or even reconciliation
- Having your freedom curtailed
- Loss other than death. Think of retirement, children leaving home or the end of a friendship
Even if our mental health is great – perhaps we have lots of support from our community, a lot of financial freedom or we feel incredibly safe and secure, these events can impact our wellbeing.
We become anxious, our tempers may be frayed or we get emotional. We may lose our appetites, release stress through exercise, meditation or yoga. We might call our friends to provide distractions, or need a few more hugs from family. These reactions are perfectly normal. In healthy situations we talk about how things affect us. We cry, or yell or laugh to release the feelings. We take steps to make the situation bearable for us.
How we deal with stressful events is different for each of us. This is called coping. Sometimes we’re not even aware we have unconscious ways of dealing with stressful situations. These are called coping mechanisms.
So when do distressing or frightening events become traumatic?
Traumatic Events
The line between stressful events and traumatic events is not black and white. It depends on a multitude of factors. Examples of the list above have an impact on our mental health, but may be only temporary, or affect us at intermittent times.
When we cannot function or our mental health becomes very poor, that’s when the stressful event becomes trumatic.
Instead of tossing and turning and waking from the occasional nightmare, we sleep badly night after night. Perhaps we can’t concentrate on work any more, have trouble taking in information, or remembering things.
We may avoid situations that remind of of our stress, self-medicate with alcohol or relieve stress in unhealthy ways. We try to make ourselves feel better, but aren’t really dealing with the stress or trauma. Just trying to defend and protect ourselves. These are called defense mechanisms.
Types of Trauma
In psychology today there are 3 types of trauma. Acute, chronic and complex. I’ve added a fourth category, covert trauma.
Wait a minute! You can’t just add a fourth category! Tough cookies. I have added this category because as I’ve been learning about trauma, I’ve been missing traumas that are not just obvious, but traumas that affect us when it comes to how we relate to others, or how they relate to us. They can be insidious, and seem benign, but have a huge effect on how we develop.
Acute Trauma
Acute trauma is a single, isolated event that doesn’t last very long. It’s effects are overwhelming and affect us greatly. Examples are:
- Sudden death of a loved one
- An accident
- Physical or sexual assault
- Natural disasters
- Medical emergencies
Chronic Trauma
Where acute trauma refers to a single, isolated event of relatively short duration, chronic trauma refers to events that last a long time, situations we cannot escape from and effects that stay with us, sometimes indefinitely. Examples are:
- Prolonged or repeated (sexual) abuse
- Prolonged exposure to war
- Having your freedoms or rights curtailed for a long time
- Chronic illness, incurable illness or prolonged illness which might or will result in death
These events occur multiple times, are inescapable and last long.
Complex Trauma
Complex trauma refers to a combination of acute and chronic trauma. Often times complex trauma not only involves traumatic events, but the events themselves are caused or worsened by those who should make us feel safe and secure. This interpersonal aspect is why I have added covert traumas as a separate trauma type.
Acute and chronic trauma can have absolutely no relationship to the people we know and love. Those who support our well being and mental health.
For example: being kidnapped and forced into prostitution. The kidnapping is an acute trauma – a single incident. Being unable to escape makes it chronic, and the effects of being forced into prostitution are both acute (the forced single sexual acts) and chronic (it happens multiple times over a longer period of time). The perpetrators may be people you know and trust, but they may also be complete strangers or simply acquaintances.
Covert Trauma
Sometimes the people or places we should be able to trust or feel safe and secure with or in, become dangerous or unsafe. This added dimension is why I have added the category covert trauma.
So what kind of things would I consider covert traumas?
- (childhood) abuse, neglect or abandonment
- gaslighting and scapegoating
- discrimination and bullying
- unwanted sexual exposure
- exposure to (household) tension or domestic violence
I would like to make one thing clear. A lot of people see covert traumas as things that happen in childhood. I agree that perhaps a lot of our coping or defense mechanism to deal with these situations may have developed during our formative years. But in my opinion these traumas can affect us adversely at any age.
