Week in Review 3 – back to basics

The past few days have all been about going back to basics. Basic explanations about incredibly complex subjects. Basic ideas that will be the cornerstones of the Jeffry Stijn Foundation for Mental Health and Patient Advocacy. And the basic fact that I really need to put my mental health first, and consciously focus on self-care.

Back to basics: Providing information

I’ve been focusing a lot on providing basic information about incredibly complex subjects. After things like the difference between mental health and mental illness in general, then delving into the basics of mental illness, now it’s time to try and explain the basics of trauma. Besides being an incredibly complex subject to distill into useful, but understandable terms, I’m finding it incredibly hard to write about personally.

It’s not that I don’t have the necessary skills, it has everything to do with the fact that I have a lot of unresolved trauma. I’m trying my best to write bits and pieces as I would any other report or article I’ve written in the past, but I just have a lot of flashbacks and triggers while writing about this subject.

It doesn’t help that I don’t have a psychologist or therapist who I can talk to about these things. Even though my last therapist promised that I would receive psychological support prior to treatment abroad, she left before there was a replacement. Respaldo has let me know that, again, now for the 6th time in 5 years, there is no therapist available and that I shouldn’t expect one to become available anytime soon.

In the meantime I do speak to a psychiatric nurse online once every 2 weeks to discuss practical issues surrounding possible treatment abroad. Unfortunately as I wrote in my last week in review, because my last psychological assessment was erroneous and I was never offered the opportunity to review or reply to that assessment, I’m now faced with the fact that the treatment center I would be sent to, for an entire year, does not actually offer treatment for cPTSD.

Pfff, so yes. I don’t have writers block. I just have writing-is-triggering-the-fact-that-I-am-mentally-ill-and-don’t-have-psychological-support-to-deal-with-it block.

Back to basics: the Foundation of the Foundation

When it comes to the foundation, it’s also back to basics. The basic organizational structure will most likely be as follows:

And after an amazing discussion and input from my “council of sages”, we’ll be reformulating the purpose of the foundation, the vision and the mission. In certain areas we will broaden definitions, and in others narrow them. I’m so happy to have this kind of support.

Part of my aim is to help people in small communities with limited resources, such a Aruba, find information and support about mental health and mental illness. That means that if, for example, a recovery center in the United states wants me to list them as a resource, I won’t do that unless a) the support, such as helplines, are available to people in small communities with limited resources, such as Aruba or b) their services are covered by local health insurance, such as UO AZV in Aruba. That doesn’t mean I won’t link to their articles when I write about subjects such as depression and addiction, or comorbidity.

Back to Basics: Me, myself and I

I wrote about why I write. That to me it’s not something I necessarily like or want to do, but that it’s necessary in order for me to survive day-to-day. A lot of people have opinions about what I should be doing or focusing on. But right now it’s simply a question of making sure my mental health is as good as it can be all things considered, until I finally get fitting treatment for my cPTSD.

A lot of people think I’m doing a ton of work, but that simply not true. I spend most days listening to my body. That means loads of cuddling with my pets, taking naps with my emotional support and assistance dogs, and putting the basic needs of my body first. It’s new, and confusing. And my body is screaming at me that this is going to end badly, my brain is telling me not to attempt this without help, but you know, I can’t keep waiting on professional help.

But that also means spending lots of time with people whose company I enjoy, and attempting to explain that being mindful of myself is what I need right now. The to do lists and check marks, unless objectively urgent, will keep for now.